We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
