i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
