i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
