i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
