I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
soo... how was my night?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
