What a fucking waste of an outfit
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
