why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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