my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
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