bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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