does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
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I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
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My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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