I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
