It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
