im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
