rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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