just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
babies were throwing up all over the place
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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