hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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