Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
