Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
