And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
