Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize