Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
