Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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