Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
