I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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