am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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