I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Randomize
