So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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