ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I look better un-naked...
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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