you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize