atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
