Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
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she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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