so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
