Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
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I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
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Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
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