wat bout pragnant strippers??
...so i touched it.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
