don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
