One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i out mim tonsoeep
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