Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
