Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Randomize
