so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Dignity is for republicans.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
