Me. At least after what I've been through.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
