Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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