am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
