I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
accomplished twins. life is a go
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
