I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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