omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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