Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
