i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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