at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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