We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
