At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize