So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
