I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
