Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
