that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He felt like a one man threesome
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You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Dick very happy bro
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
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